Tuesday, February 17, 2009

3:00 p.m.

So Doug has a "performance review" with the NEW VP of sales today at 2:00 and he's worried that at 3:00 he won't have a job. I have to admit, I'm worried too. I wouldn't tell him that. I have to be the cheerleader about what a great salesman he is and that no matter what everything will be OK. I should know that everything is not always OK. I mean you might make it through, but most of the time it is excruciating and painful and even humiliating. Sometimes it changes you and not always in good ways. At least not at first. But I digress...

This woman is a micro-manager to the nth degree. They already had a get-to-know-you meeting last week in which she went over all of his opportunities and what he could have done better. Here's the problem...When you have been in sales for over 25 years you know HOW to sell, but seriously, the economy is in the tank and none of his customers want to spend any money. At least that is what they are saying. He really liked this job at first, now he really hates it. He wants to be a teacher. How do you parley 25 years of sales experience at the age of 51 into a teaching job unless you are independently wealthy and can afford to re-educate?
So what will 3:00 bring? I am used to this. Not as a Mom, that part is new, but as a kid we were always with and then without. We moved all over the country chasing that job that would make a difference in our lives and my Dad was in sales! You would think I'd have learned. But Doug was in retail. When I was 22 I spent all of my time at the mall~heck I worked there too. The mall was like Nirvana and a retail manager was like a God to me!! Then I found out that retail is actually hell when you are married and have kids. So we're out of that and into sales where you have to find the customer and most people don't want to be found by a salesman no matter what they are selling.

Mackenzie is so stressed about the possibility of moving that she has been having near daily migraines, I remember when I couldn't wait to grow up and make my own decisions. What was I thinking? This is not fun or freeing. I want my Mommy!!
No matter what happens at 3:00 I love my husband and I know that he really is doing his best. He's not just lazy and not willing to work. But he will see it as failing me and the kids and he will beat himself up and I will not know how to reassure him.
And even if he does still have his job the threat and possibility of not having it are now too real. How can he live under that stress? How do we change it? Any advice would be appreciated :-) And PRAY.


Sara said...

Just know that we love you and your family and hope all goes well.

jendoop said...

You have got to post a follow up!

My childhood was alot like yours, we moved alot because my Dad worked construction and moved from job to job, until we moved to SLC in 4th grade. Thankfully we somehow stayed put after that. I have an amount of experience that my DH doesn't in dealing with "trauma" that is helpful in our marriage.

There are options out there, I think the freakouts happen when you feel you don't have options. Don't close down anything, let the Lord lead you into things you may not see as possible.

Your family is strong. With all you have been through you will look back one day and realize it if you don't now. My mom pointed that out to me when I asked her about all those years of moving- that it made us all closer, we had to depend on each other. It has definately done that for my little family in this weird town we live in.

love you.

Lyndee said...

Caren, I just love you and your family. I am sorry you are going through this. Your family will be in our prayer's.